


The Worst of It

by Lana_Rav



Category: Now You See Me (Movies)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hugs, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Post-Canon, Pre-Slash, Slow Burn, The Horsemen as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:01:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27605270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_Rav/pseuds/Lana_Rav
Summary: After the events in Macao Daniel has issues. Merritt helps Dylan to make it up to Danny before it's too late.Basically, Danny is blaming himself over everything that happened, and Dylan doesn't know how to show his feelings.
Relationships: J. Daniel Atlas/Dylan Rhodes
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	The Worst of It

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written fanfiction for a long time, but I made an exception for this fandom because it is really not that big and people want more. 
> 
> P.S. I am not native in English, so if you see mistakes, I would be glad if you could point them out for me.

It’s been a month since the events of the New Year Eve in London. The horsemen decided to take a break and lie low until the Eye will supply them with the new instructions. About what Dylan knew for sure was that Lula and Jack rented an apartment in Brooklyn, while Merritt was already changing the third flat during this month, as it occurred unexpectedly boring to stay at the one place for long after their ‘world’ adventure. And Danny was probably staying somewhere in New York too, but Dylan made this assumption only from the Merritt’s statement, that he visited Danny this morning, about a week ago when they were having dinner at Lula and Jack’s.

After everything ended, they all understood that it is better to part for some time and take care of their private lives. However, in a week, Merritt already gave up the solitude and brought all horsemen together for the movie night. Danny did not come that time. Moreover, he wasn’t present on the next gatherings too. That’s basically the main reason, why Dylan had no idea where Atlas was and what he was doing.

Dylan believed, that Danny just needed more time and that he will appear when he will be ready or when the Eye will need its horsemen again, so he did not call… or chat… or made any other attempt to contact Atlas. But today was exactly the day when the meeting wasn’t about who will drink more or who will tell the funniest joke. Today Dylan convened everyone at the Eye’s headquarters to present the plan of the new show. But when 30 minutes passed in waiting it was clear that Atlas had no intentions to come to this gathering either.

“Is he making fun of us?” Dylan was passing the floor and shaking with frustration. Merritt looked at him with the slight disbelief, but shook his thoughts away and stood up from his seat.

“Dylan, why don’t we start. I’ll make sure the princess receives all the information in the best manner” told Merritt placing a hand over Shrike’s shoulder. Dylan just exhaled loudly but got started with his speech trying to ignore the irritation that awakened in him every time he pronaoses Danny’s name.

The meeting went more or less productively and the basic points were issued. Jack and Lula were already gone, when Merritt appeared behind Dylan’s back leaning over his shoulder to take a look at the blueprints.

“Dylan, can we have a talk, like a man to a man, and all that stuff?” questioned Merritt figuratively gesturing between their chests. Dylan just looked at him lifting one eyebrow and making eye contact to show that he is paying attention.

Merritt exhaled somewhat hard and sad, which wasn’t really in his character, and pointed “He needs help”.

Dylan already stood up from the papers and now was carefully examining the other man’s eyes as if seeking for the answers to the unsaid questions. But Merritt did not answer.

“What do you mean?” Dylan finally breathed out. Merritt was staring at him like his interlocutor was the dumbest person in the world, however, they both knew it’s not true.

“I visited him lately,” enlightened hypnotist, “he isn’t being himself. I mean, when I joked that he should be greeting a man in something more appealing than sweatpants, he said that he is sorry,” continued the man. “Have you ever seen him apologizing to me?” Dylan just slightly shook his head analyzing the situating.

“But this is not the worst,” now seriously told Merritt, “he is skinnier than he used to be, and I can feel that he does not sleep much. He looks like a person with depression… And I know exactly what I am talking about! Ex-psychologist, remember? What I am trying to tell you is that he is killing himself over what had happened in Macao,” finished Merritt and looked at Dylan expectedly. And Dylan lost it, he lost the connection between past, present and future, because he did not understand how Merritt’s words could be true. And they should be, otherwise, Merritt wouldn’t act all serious and worried around there.

“I told him to let it go. I explained that he shouldn’t blame himself!” exclaimed Dylan nervously shaking his head.

“Well, he does. And you know what? You are the one to blame!” Merritt was talking with irritation too. Probably waiting for Dylan to act and not stand here like he sees the problem for the first time. “When was the last time you visited him?” pushed Merritt, “maybe called?” Dylan was staring at him wide-eyed but kept his silence. “Thought so” Merritt whipped out with the piece of disgust in his voice. He already turned towards the exit, when Dylan’s quite reply stilled him.

“He told he needed space… I did not want to push him…”

“Well, he probably did. For a week or so. But it’s been the whole month and you are pretending like he doesn’t exist. What is he supposed to think?” Merritt turned back to Dylan, watching the man leaning over the table with his shoulders tense.

“Shit” breathes Dylan and roughly pulls his hair with one hand afraid to lift his eyes on Merritt. The other man just slowly approached and laid his hand on the leader’s shoulder, “Just promise me you will pay him a visit” softly.

“I will” mouths Dylan with just his lips. He wasn’t really angry with Atlas, not exactly. He only thought that they are back with their relationship where they were before Macao. He expected that Daniel is a self-assured man who knows what he wants and is ready to act according to his own senses. He did not expect Danny to blame himself over anything that had happened. However, if Dylan is being honest with himself, that would be exactly what he would be doing if any of the horsemen experienced the near-death situation.

“Shit” whispered Dylan again, now to the already empty room.

The next day Dylan was fidgeting near the door of the Atlas’ apartment in New York. Yeah, he asked the address from Merritt at 3 a.m., because what Dylan was doing instead of sleeping at that time was picturing the talk with Danny in his head. He imagined all the little details and possible scenarios when he realized that he really has no idea where exactly this conversation would take place. So, he called Merritt in 3 in the morning.

The door was still closed and Dylan did not make any attempts to knock or ring, as if Atlas is able to feel that there is someone waiting for him to open. After a couple of more deep breathes Dylan finally managed to show his presence and used the bell button.

In the deep of his mind, Dylan hoped that the host wasn’t home and was ready to turn around and run away from this place, when the door was slowly opened by Danny. The man indeed was wearing only lose sweatpants, as mentioned earlier Merritt, his hair was unkempt and he had bags under his eyes from the clear lack of sleep.

But the whole understanding of Merritt’s remark that Atlas needs help came only when he locked his gaze with the man’s. The sadness and apathy streaming from the showman was so intense that for a moment Dylan forgot what exactly he is doing here.

“What do you need, Dylan?” Atlas’ weak voice brought Shrike back to reality. He automatically followed into the flat when Danny opened the door wider giving the room for another to enter.

“You didn’t come,” without thinking replied Dylan, “yesterday, to the meeting…” That wasn’t exactly what he was supposed to say, but Shrike couldn’t control his tongue right now.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I am so sorry…I did not mean to let you guys down” started Atlas rubbing his eyes with one hand. He seemed out of the place like he doesn’t know exactly what is going on and is answering with already prewritten phrases. Dylan was not sure what he was supposed to do. He wanted to help, wanted to reassure Danny that they need him, that he is important and that everything that happened in Macao did not change the fact that Danny was the part of the family. But instead of sharing his thoughts, Dylan was just standing uncomfortably like he was afraid to move.

“I’ll come next time” reassured him Danny slowly pushing the man back to the still open door.

“You okay?” finally came to senses Dylan and made and attempt to actually start a conversation he came here after.

“Sure, why?” Danny gave a small unrealistic smile and was already holding the handle ready to close the door after Dylan.

“You seem… upset” suggested Shrike. However, ‘upset’ was the most inappropriate word to describe how Atlas looked like. Better say ‘depressed’ or ‘suicidal’, at least ‘sick’. But Dylan held his tongue thinking that if everything was that bad, Danny would have mentioned it to any of the horsemen.

“Just tired,” wiped off Atlas trying to act more energetic. “I am really alright, Dylan,” he added noticing the hesitation in Dylan’s expression, “you should go,” finished Danny almost forcefully pushing the other man out of his flat, like if this conversation would continue, he won’t be able to hold himself upright.

“Yeah… I probably should…” mouthed Dylan with visible hesitation but stepped away giving Atlas a chance to close the door.

The next moment Shrike found himself still standing face to the door cursing under his breath. Taking situations under control, designing ideal plans and motivating others were all his strong sides. But when Atlas was involved all the common sense was pushed out and Dylan could not think properly.

He was supposed to talk, to make Danny feel better, to show him how much he really cared. But the truth to be told, horsemen were the first people Dylan really cared about in the long 30 years. And opening his heart to the emotions and feelings wasn’t that easy for the first time after completely shutting down his own personality from the world. Probably, while Dylan was pretending to be someone else, he really forgot who he is and how his own emotions felt. That’s why right now he was standing near the fucking door and breathing too fast and too panicked for it to be normal.

The next couple of days Dylan was trying to analyze why exactly the conversation with Daniel went ass-backwards. Probably the main reason was that Dylan started straight forward from the claim that Danny skipped the meeting. That was logical that if you want a friendly atmosphere you should start a talk like a friend and not like a fucking boss. People don’t tend to open up to their bosses… He should have greeted at least, probably ask what’s up, as they haven’t seen each other in a month…

Dylan held his face in his hands sitting on the edge of his bed. He couldn’t stop thinking about Danny. The boy clearly needed support, consolation, and, considering all the events from the past, that should be Dylan having an open-heart with him and not anyone else.

Dylan signed heavily and reached for his phone for the third time in half an hour. The only right decision now is to call Danny and tell him how much he misses him, ask him for a dinner, and they will figure everything else out for sure. But although Dylan was far beyond 16, he couldn’t gather enough courage to press the call button.

Well, it was too late now. Dylan's hands started shaking a bit as he opened the new messages from Atlas that arrived a few seconds ago. ‘I am sorry, Dylan. I am out’ – was all it said.

Dylan read the message again and again as if trying to find some hidden dispatch in it, or at least hope that there was something he could do to make things up with Danny. But there was nothing else, just a simple message with the clear meaning.

Dylan gave up a shaky breath, he felt himself go cold in every part of his body. Felt how everything started to tremble. And he just continued sitting there on his bed, feeling stupid and powerless over the situation. If Danny sent this message in the middle of the night, then, he had thought through everything properly, through all the consequences and about what it means for their relationship.

Half an hour later Dylan finally moved from his place and slowly laid down on his back. He was staring at the ceiling expressionless trying to soothe the extreme need of emotional breakdown. He was a grown-up man, Danny was a grown-up man, they made their choices and Dylan had no right to impugn those.

Next morning Dylan was sitting at Merritt’s trying to judge the other’s reaction to the messages. Merritt was holding Dylan’s phone. His expression did not show any evidence of surprise or dissatisfaction. Moreover, it seemed like the man already knew that Atlas was going to quit.

“Did you know?” suggested Dylan with hesitation. Merritt looked at him with a guilty expression. “I wouldn’t use the ‘know’ word…” he gestured uncertainty with his hand, “but I surely expected such a defiant behaviour from our little Danny-boy” finished Merritt a bit in jest, but quickly changed his attitude when saw how terrified Dylan looked.

“You visited him, right?” Dylan just nodded at the question and lifted his gaze to make an eye to eye contact with the other horseman. And at the moment he saw the sad sympathy in the other’s gaze, he finally broke down. He made a deep breath still trying to keep himself under control but then started shaking violently with his whole body. Noticing the change, Merritt calmly approached, like the proper phycologist, and half hugged his leader with one hand. “This is going to be alright, man” he whispered with a steady voice.

“I just don’t understand why he is doing this” yelled Dylan pushing Merritt’s hand away. “Like he doesn’t care! Does he care?!” Shrike started impatiently pacing the room like he might blow up the moment he stops. He was shaking even more visibly now, trying to suppress the spite raising in him, because of his inability to change Danny’s decision.

“Of course, he does” answered Merritt calmly.

“Then why? Why is he leaving me?” continued Dylan completely losing control over his tongue. But Merritt decided not to pay attention to the sudden personalization used.

“I told you, he is blaming himself over what happened. He probably thinks we would be better without him” explained Merritt worriedly following his gaze after Dylan’s pacing.

“But that’s not true. We would be nothing without him” exclaimed Shrike.

“He doesn’t know that” exhaled Merritt. He once again approached the other man opening his arms to offer comfort. But Dylan just turned away.

“I don’t know what to do…” Dylan’s voice was now calm, but it was clear that the man was terrified. “I haven’t cared about anyone for a long time. I don’t know how to show care…” he continued with the panic rising in his voice. “I don’t want him to go…” he finished barely audible closing the face with both arms and finally stopping the pacing.

“Believe me, he doesn’t want to go either,” added Merritt. “Go talk to him, Dylan. Properly this time,” Dylan lifted his guilty gaze on that. “You should understand that what you feel is okay. I assume you didn’t let yourself feel much for the last 30 years. But it’s over, Dylan, you are not alone anymore, we are your family. And it is okay that you care, no one is going to judge you.”

When Merritt finished Dylan felt the tears form in his eyes. The sincere warmth of the other’s words wasn’t something he was used to. But that is true, they are family now, regardless of what their lives were before. And Dylan indeed cared about his horsemen. About the people who risked everything for him. About Danny who jumped in the cold water only to possibly save him. That feeling to belong among others was overwhelming. That wasn’t about the shows or revenge anymore. They were spending time together because they found comfort in each other. And, to be honest, none of them had anywhere else to go.

And only then Dylan realized that Danny wasn’t leaving them for the better life, he was leaving to be alone. He was leaving to go nowhere because he had no one out there to care about him. And at that thoughts, Dylan’s heart ached.

Dylan was once again standing before the door to Danny’s flat. However, this time he hesitated only for a few seconds before pressing the bell button. Danny did not open right away; it took Dylan five rings in order to get the reply.

“There is nothing to talk about. Go away, Dylan,” Atlas just looked from the door barely opening it. “No!” exclaimed Shrike garbing the door and forcing it open against Danny’s will. “This time we talk properly!”

“I told you, there is nothing to talk about!” snapped Atlas, but stepped back to let the other man enter. He looked even more pained that the last time. And Dylan couldn’t help but feel like he is the one to blame.

The flat was in the chaos, boxes and belongings placed here and there. And it was clear, that Atlas was moving out shortly, probably even tomorrow. So, Dylan felt a kind of relief that he came now and did not wait for the next few days. Because if Atlas left, he would have no idea where to find him.

“We can’t do that without you, Danny,” started Dylan. He did not have the prewritten plan of the talk. This time he was talking from the heart. And it did not bother him, because that situation was kind of ‘now or never’. “I can’t do that without you…” Dylan was looking Danny right in the eyes speaking sincerely. And when Atlas wanted to interrupt, he just continued, “I made a lot of mistakes, I wasn’t the leader you deserve. I know that I could have acted differently with you and we could have avoided the misunderstanding. And I clearly understand that now is already too late. But I don’t want you to leave, Danny…” at the last sentence Dylan’s voice broke and he was gathering all his strength not to cry. Atlas, on the other hand, was already hugging himself from trembling.

“We are family now. You guys are the only family I have had for the last 30 years. And I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose anyone anymore…”

“But, Dylan, I almost killed you…” magician spoke too quietly, he lowered his gaze to the floor avoiding Dylan’s gaze, but Dylan noticed how Danny’s knuckles became white from how hard he was grabbing himself.

“You pulled me from the bottom of the river. You are the reason I’m alive,” mouthed Dylan clearly, so there was no way to object.

“I held your body, Dylan, and you weren’t breathing…” – Danny turned away when speaking and it was clear that he was already crying. His voice was thin and quiet. “I thought I had lost you. That I had lost you forever… Can you even imagine how that feels?” Dylan did not answer, he was just looking at the other’s back, not daring to move or speak.

“I thought that I will never have am opportunity to apologize to you,” continued Danny. “And I am sorry, Dylan! So fucking sorry!”

“Danny…” whispered the elder man. He finally made his body move and now was standing just behind Atlas. So close that he could feel the warmth radiating from the man. But Dylan did not dare to touch yet, he knew that Atlas did not finish and any unpredictable behaviour may scare him away.

“Every time I close my eyes, I see your lifeless body and I keep thinking that you were dead because of me… I can’t do that anymore,” Danny was now shaking with sobs, not even trying to pretend hi is alright. They both knew he wasn’t, so what’s the point. He made a few unsteady breaths and continued almost hysterically, “I want to keep you safe, Dylan. I want to keep you away. Please, let me keep you away” Danny was begging. He was asking Dylan to let him leave, he was asking him to make it less complicated and hard. And, probably, Dylan should just obey and go away, let the other live his own decision. But he couldn’t.

Instead, Shrike slowly slides his hands under Danny’s, placing his chest to the others back, and hugs tightly. He is holding the younger man through the worst of his crying. They are standing in the dark flat as close as possible, exchanging the warmth.

“Shh… We are alright…” Dylan whispers right to the other’s ear, rocking them soothingly. “I’m right here. I’ll always be here”.

“I know” barely audible answers Danny.

“You are my family. And we are going to pass through that together. I need you, Danny” Dylan hugs him even tighter and leads them to the coach.

And they stay in each other’s arms for the next hour, until Danny can finally put himself together and clam down. And at this moment, both of them finally believe that this is going to be alright someday.

**Author's Note:**

> In case it seems like Dylan is an asshole, he is not. What I was trying to show in this work is that Dylan is not good with human interactions. He was blinded by vendetta for 30 years, and I am pretty sure he is not used to showing his emotions and love. 
> 
> Danny, on the other hand, had never said his sorry to Dylan. and that is a pretty good reason to be possessed with guilt (did some psychological research).
> 
> Please, leave comments. This is my first work in English and I want criticism.


End file.
